The Neothink Society · Love and Relationships · June 2009
Love is the first casualty when a life is being drained.
A marriage does not lose its warmth by accident. Two people who once celebrated each other slowly stop, and the cause is almost never the relationship itself. The cause is what has been pulled out of each person before they ever walk through the door at night. When a man and a woman are being emptied all day, they have nothing left to bring home to each other. What looks like a dying marriage is a starved one.
Three forces do the starving: lack of wealth-creation, lack of health, and lack of happiness. Each one drains a person of the energy that love runs on. Together they hollow out a household until two people who chose each other live side by side and feel nothing.
The real cause. A marriage that goes cold is almost never failing at the relationship; it is starved of the energy two people need to bring home.
How a non-creative job drains the love out of a home
Most people spend their best waking hours in work that allows no creation. The job dictates the task and leaves no room for integrated thinking, for building, for value reflected back as reward. A person who cannot create at work produces no surplus, earns no real gain from the effort, and brings home no prosperity to share. Day after day in that environment, the self that creates goes quiet. The blank stare at the end of a shift is the look of a person who has been deadened, and a deadened person has nothing left over for a spouse or a child.
The capacity to create value is the same capacity that makes a person worth loving. Starve one and the other goes with it.
How fragile health and quiet unhappiness finish the job
Health is the second drain. A person carrying a real health burden often perceives himself as weak, unable to compete, unable to provide. He works anyway, consumed every hour by worry about the future, and never tastes the vibrant living that prosperity is supposed to buy. He pulls back inside himself and drudges through the days.
Love returns to a marriage when both people are restored to wealth-creation, health, and happiness, because energy is what love runs on.
Unhappiness is the third drain, and it is what the first two produce. A life with no creation and no vitality settles into a low, persistent emptiness. That emptiness is the accumulated cost of a person kept from the wealth, health, and joy that are rightfully his, and no conversation talks it away. The sum of all three is a household where love has no fuel.
The fuel of love. Affection is not manufactured by effort; it returns on its own once two people have energy left at the end of the day.
What the Neothink mind restores
The Neothink mind reverses the drain at its source. It returns a person to creating value rather than performing assigned tasks, so the work that filled the day with deadness begins to fill it with momentum and reward. Prosperity returns, health is treated as the foundation it is, and happiness follows the same way it left: as the natural result of a life that creates.
A person operating this way has energy left at the end of the day. Energy is what love runs on. Two people who are each fully alive, each building, each prospering, do not have to manufacture affection for each other. The celebration returns on its own, because the conditions that killed it are gone. This is the atmosphere in which loving relationships hold.
Falling out of love is what happens when a life is being suppressed. Building a life of creation, health, and prosperity is how two people come back to each other.
Neothink Society is a private worldwide society where self-led men and women use the Neothink mind to build lives of prosperity, love, happiness, creation, health, productivity, value creation, and self-leadership.
Common Questions
Why do people fall out of love? Love fades when the people in a relationship are drained of the energy that affection depends on. The cause is rarely the relationship itself. It is the slow emptying of each person by a life that offers no creation, no vitality, and no joy, until there is nothing left to bring home.
What is the difference between a failing marriage and a starved one? A failing marriage suggests the bond between two people has broken. A starved marriage means the bond is intact but the people in it have been hollowed out by their daily lives. The warmth is missing because the fuel is missing, not because the two people are wrong for each other.
What are the three drains that pull love out of a home? Lack of wealth-creation, lack of health, and lack of happiness. The first deadens a person through work that produces no real gain. The second consumes a person with worry and weakness. The third is the persistent emptiness the first two leave behind. Together they leave a household with no fuel for love.
How does a non-creative job deaden a person? A job that dictates every task and allows no building leaves no room for the self that creates value. Day after day, that self goes quiet. The person produces no surplus and earns no real reward, and the blank stare at the end of a shift is the result. The capacity that goes quiet is the same capacity that makes a person worth loving.
Why is energy, not effort, what love runs on? Two people who are fully alive do not have to work at feeling affection for each other; it arises on its own. When the energy is gone, no amount of effort or conversation produces it. Restore the energy and the celebration returns without being manufactured.
How does the Neothink mind restore love in a relationship? The Neothink mind reverses the drain at its source by returning a person to creating value rather than performing assigned tasks. Prosperity, health, and happiness follow, and a person operating this way has energy left at the end of the day. Two people each fully alive come back to each other on their own.
Further Reading
- Neothink mind: the integrated way of thinking that returns a person to creating value.
- Value creation: why the capacity to create is the same capacity that makes a person worth loving.
- Self-leadership: how a person takes charge of the conditions that were draining the life out of a home.
- Suppression: the forces that empty a person of wealth, health, and happiness before love ever has a chance.
- Prosperity: the vibrant living that returns when work becomes creation again.
Membership is by application.