The Neothink Society · Love and Relationships · July 2009
By the next weekend I was completely packed and ready to move to Blooming Bud. The moving van arrived at 8:30 Saturday morning, and by 12:45 everything had been loaded and we were on our way.
Paul closed his shop early and helped me move my things into my studio and apartment. Despite the mountain of unopened boxes everywhere, it soon felt like home.
By 7:30 most of the boxes in my living quarters had been unpacked and their contents lay in heaps around my loft. As I was putting the dishes away, the bell on my front door clanged.
"Ember, it's Paul."
I peeked over the balcony. He stood in the center of my shop holding a tray. "I thought you might be hungry. You've been working really hard, and I'll bet you didn't bring any food with you. So I stopped over by the Lady Bug. I hope you like grilled chicken."
The next morning, Meghan stopped by to see how I was doing. "I wanted to invite you to join our Tai Chi class, Ember. We meet every morning at 7:00. It only lasts about 45 minutes, but it's very relaxing and great exercise. You can meet most of the other members of our little group there."
The Life
A self-directed life in a values-driven community is unhurried because the work is chosen, the days are her own, and the knots of a forced existence dissolve on their own.
Life in Blooming Bud was unhurried. I wanted my vacation to last forever. Over the course of the next few weeks I made several friends. My work was more like play. I created things I enjoyed, and visitors loved to watch me work. Before long the knots that had resided in my neck muscles and stomach had completely vanished.
Paul and I spent a lot of time together. He even helped me arrange my shop. He was easy to talk to. I knew that I could get very attached to a man like him. Paul's attention was great for my ego, but I worried about him and Meghan. I knew they had a long-standing relationship, and I didn't want to hurt her. I liked her too, and didn't want her to become angry with me. If he and I became involved, would she refuse to promote my work?
Ember builds a clear, self-directed life in Blooming Bud, then nearly wrecks her own happiness by acting on an assumption about Paul and Meghan she never checked against reality.
One evening, about two weeks after I had moved in, I was in the courtyard taking finished pieces out of my kiln when I heard the gate open. I turned. Paul stood in the entry.
"Hi," he smiled. "What are you doing?"
"Just pulling out some finished pieces. I've got a few that I want Meghan to see. I am really excited about living here. I'm feeling very good about it."
"Great. Say, since tomorrow night is a Friday, and you have been working so hard, why don't we go to dinner and a movie in the city?"
I just stood there wiping a vase. How dare he! What about Meghan? I thought he was better than that. Well, I won't be a party to another woman being hurt.
"I don't think so, Paul." I picked up my box of vases. "I'm not that kind of woman."
"Huh? What are you talking about?"
I crossed the courtyard and opened the door. "Don't play innocent with me, Paul Dumont. Goodnight." I stepped inside and locked the door.
"Ember?" Paul knocked on the door. "I don't understand. What's wrong?"
I put the box down and ran upstairs to my bed. I flopped down and hugged a pillow.
The Misread
An honest person who acts to protect someone else can still wound herself when she moves on an assumption she never tested against the facts.
Common Questions
What happens in part 9 of the Side Road series? Ember completes her move to Blooming Bud, settles into her studio and apartment, and begins building a calmer, self-directed life. Paul helps her settle in and grows close to her. When he invites her to dinner and a movie, she turns him down and locks her door, convinced he is betraying Meghan.
What is Blooming Bud in the story? Blooming Bud is the values-driven community Ember relocates to. It is a place where work is chosen rather than forced, neighbors share daily practices like a morning class, and a person's craft becomes something closer to play. It pictures what a self-led life inside a supportive community can feel like.
Why does Ember refuse Paul's invitation? She believes Paul and Meghan have a long-standing romantic relationship and that accepting his invitation would help hurt another woman. She refuses on principle, telling him she is not that kind of woman, and shuts the door before he can explain.
What does the misunderstanding illustrate? It shows how a sincere, well-meaning person can still create needless pain by acting on an unchecked assumption. Ember reads Paul's intentions through a conclusion she never confirmed, and her honesty about not wanting to hurt Meghan turns into a wound she inflicts on herself.
How does the story reflect a self-led life? Ember chooses her location, her work, and her pace, and the stress of her old life falls away once she controls her own days. The installment also marks the edge of that capacity: clarity about her own values does not yet extend to reading other people's situations accurately, which is its own skill.
What does a values-driven community look like here? It looks ordinary and warm rather than ceremonial. A neighbor brings dinner because she has been working hard. Another invites her to a morning class to meet the group. Work and life blend, friendships form quickly, and the texture of daily life carries the values rather than any slogan.
Further Reading
- Self-Leadership. Choosing one's own work, pace, and direction, the capacity Ember exercises in relocating to Blooming Bud.
- A Values-Driven Community. The kind of place where chosen work, shared practice, and real friendship replace a forced existence.
- The Honest Life. Living by one's own standards, the instinct that drives Ember's refusal even as she misreads the situation.
- Integrated Thinking. Locking facts into an accurate picture of reality, the skill whose absence sets up the misunderstanding.
Membership is by application.