The Neothink Society · Psychology and Self-Leadership · June 2009
A life of creative power can be set down a piece at a time, traded for other people's deadlines and other people's milestones, until the person who once made art forgets the road that still leads back. The Society watches that trade play out in ordinary lives every day. This story follows one such trade, and the morning it begins to come undone.
Taillights stretched like columns of red ants into the pre-dawn gloom. Grey mist lay across the freeway. I turned on the radio. "Hey gang, it's Crazy Bill and Weird Phil, with the latest traffic report. There's a rollover accident on the 412 at the Green Street Bridge. A tanker truck hit a flatbed loaded with live chickens. Woo wee, you guys on the southbound freeway are out of luck this morning. Or should I say out of 'cluck'!"
The tension ball that lived in the back of my neck tightened. I shook my head. Why do I listen to those two nuts? I flipped on my blinker and eased toward the nearest exit. From the far side of the road a brightly colored sign invited me to "Visit Blooming Bud, the Nation's Premier Art Colony." It must be nice to live like that. No lawyers to answer to, just work on your art. I smoothed the pleats in my grey wool skirt. For years I had wanted to see that place, but someone or something always got in the way. I picked up my cell phone to call the office. It was only 6:45 and the company wasn't open yet, but the answering service would deliver the message.
The trade is invisible. A creative life is rarely surrendered in one decision. It is given away in small, reasonable deferrals that each look practical at the time.
"You have reached the law offices of Riley, Stoner and Burns. For whom would you like to leave a message?"
"Grace Riley, please. This is Emy Burns, I'm a paralegal with the firm. Tell her that I am just sick about this. I'll try the best I can to make it in today, but right now I am all messed up in..."
"Alright, Ms. Burns, I'll tell Ms. Riley that you are ill. I hope you feel better. Will that be all?"
"Uh, yes."
I lied to the office? I can't believe I lied to the office. I stared at the phone for a minute, wondering what to do. I had always been dependable. I really should correct this misunderstanding. I should call the service back and tell them. I moved over to the right lane and crept down the access road. At the bottom of the ramp, the road into town choked on bumper-to-bumper traffic. To the right, the narrow road to Blooming Bud disappeared into a dense forest.
The morning a person stops postponing their own creative life is the morning the deferred road back to it becomes a real choice again.
My parents visited the colony when it first opened about 12 years ago. They had wanted me to go with them that weekend, but Richard needed my help on a major case. If he did well on it, he would make partner in the firm. I knew Richard's success was more important to my family's future than an outing, so I stayed and helped him. The folks were disappointed, of course. They always encouraged me to pursue my artistic talents, but one must be practical. Mom cried when I gave up fine arts to pursue a paralegal degree.
The turn comes first. Reclaiming a creative life starts with a single concrete turn toward it, before any plan is in place.
Richard promised me that we would go to Blooming Bud later. After he had won the case. After he had become a partner. After he had reached some other goal. Everything would be fine. Everything would be great. I could quit work and concentrate on my pottery. He always promised. Always. Sometime in the future.
Common Questions
What is a deferred life? A deferred life is one where a person's own ambitions are continuously postponed in favor of someone else's goals and timelines. The plan to live fully is always set for later, after the next case is won or the next milestone is reached, so the later moment never arrives.
How does a person trade away their creative power? Creative power is rarely given up in a single choice. It leaves in small, reasonable deferrals: skipping the trip this once, taking the practical degree instead, helping with one more important case. Each trade looks sensible on its own, and together they replace the creative life with other people's deadlines.
How is self-leadership different from obligation? Obligation organizes a life around the requirements other people set. Self-leadership organizes a life around the values the person chooses to create. The story's protagonist has lived by obligation for years, and the exit ramp is the first moment she acts from self-direction instead.
Why does the moment of turning matter so much? The turn matters because it converts a vague wish into a real choice. As long as Blooming Bud stays "someday," it costs nothing and changes nothing. Taking the exit and pointing the car at the side road makes reclaiming the creative life concrete and therefore possible.
What does the side road symbolize in the story? The narrow road to the art colony stands for the path back to a creative life that the protagonist set aside. It has been visible the whole time, just off the route she drives every day, which is why the choice to turn onto it is available the morning the story begins.
What does creative power connect to in daily practice? Creative power connects to value creation and integrated thinking: the habit of producing real value from one's own talents rather than only servicing the goals of others. In daily life it shows up as the decision to make time for the work that is genuinely one's own.
Further Reading
- Creative power: how making real value from your own talents anchors a self-led life.
- The deferred life: why "someday" plans quietly replace the life a person meant to live.
- Self-leadership: directing your life by chosen values instead of inherited obligations.
- Value creation: the practice of producing genuine value as the basis of a meaningful life.
- Integrated thinking: connecting daily choices to the larger life you intend to build.
Membership is by application.