The Neothink Society · Psychology and Self-Leadership · June 2017
Happiness rests on self-esteem, and self-esteem is earned. A man or woman who lives honestly and produces real value carries a happiness that no loss of circumstance can take away. This is durable happiness, the kind that holds across a whole life.
The Foundation Durable happiness follows self-esteem earned through honesty and productivity.
The foundation: self-esteem earned through honesty and productivity
Mark Hamilton's writings state it directly: the happiness of a man and woman rests on self-esteem, and self-esteem acquired through honesty and productivity is the requisite for romantic love and for the full celebrating pleasures of a life lived completely.
In the Society these are called psychuous pleasures. They are vibrant, exhilarating, and total, the celebrations of a life experienced to its fullest in every area at once. There is no halfway in them. They arise between people who share the same values and meet each other as honest, rational producers of value, day by day, contributing to their own lives and to the lives around them.
Self-esteem depends on one capacity above all: effectiveness in dealing with reality. A high level of it requires a standing commitment to objectivity in judging one's own motives, the motives behind the actions a person takes for themselves and for others. That commitment produces honesty and creativity in a life, and it puts a person in control of that life. Control is the source of self-worth.
Two orientations toward a life
The Two Orientations The value creator's orientation builds a life and earns the happiness that follows it. The value destroyer's orientation consumes a life and forfeits it.
The level of objectivity and honesty that brings happiness is within reach of anyone. What blocks it is a choice between two orientations. The value creator's orientation builds a life. The value destroyer's orientation consumes one.
A value creator says: I earn my living by producing competitive values that trade in a free market. I make my own way. If I lack the skill to produce, I become a student until I have it, then I produce.
A value destroyer says: I will make myself a lifetime professional dependent. I will live off government programs, off manipulated religion, off the exploitation of social systems, taking my livelihood from the producers through no effort of my own.
Set the two side by side and the cost of the second becomes obvious. Anything forced on a person does not come from a rational, truth-based, value-creating place, and what is forced cannot be good for the one it is forced upon.
Three parables on dependence and capacity
A rich man, moved to do good, built soup houses to feed the poor without charge, and all the poor of that town were fed. The next year there were twice as many. He built more, and fed them. The year after there were twice as many again, and his means were spent, and he could feed none at all. He did a small physical good for a moment and a large wrong over time, because he lowered the standing of the men and women he fed. His charity bred dependence.
Certain men fell into a deep well. At the bottom they lay flat and prayed to be lifted out, yet would not raise their eyes. Others at the top let down ropes and called for them to look up and take hold. They would not. In time those at the bottom said: our prayers are not answered.
A rich man built a place of labor for those who had nothing to eat and nowhere to sleep. He told them: you have hands to work with; come now and be men and women with your hands. They worked, earned their living, and shared their values with one another, and all of them gained.
Teachings of value creation and self-worth know no boundaries. The only boundaries set before people are the ones a value destroyer imposes, and the ones people accept by believing a deception is real.
Happiness cannot be pursued directly; it is the byproduct of self-esteem earned through honesty and productivity, which is why only the value creator keeps it and the value destroyer forfeits it.
The Orientation for Positive Change
Mark Hamilton names the decision base of a value creator the Orientation for Positive Change, and it comes down to two commitments:
- Stop living as a usurper and become a producer of competitive values, earning prosperity and the happiness that follows it.
- Withdraw support from those who, through direct or indirect force or coercion, live off the efforts of others.
A life built on honest, integrated self-evaluation holds. Choosing truth, judged by honest discernment, produces a steady experience of joy and value creation across the whole of living.
Common Questions
Where does durable happiness come from? It comes from self-esteem, and self-esteem is earned through honesty and productivity. A person who lives honestly and produces real value carries a happiness that no loss of circumstance can take away, because its source is internal rather than dependent on conditions outside the self.
What are psychuous pleasures? They are the vibrant, exhilarating celebrations of a life experienced to its fullest in every area at once. They arise between people who share the same values and meet each other as honest, rational producers of value, day by day. They are not halfway pleasures; they are the total enjoyment of a life lived completely.
What is the difference between the value creator and the value destroyer? The value creator earns a living by producing competitive values that trade in a free market and makes their own way. The value destroyer takes a livelihood from the producers through no effort of their own, living off forced or coerced support. One orientation builds a life; the other consumes one.
Why is earned self-esteem the requisite for happiness? Self-esteem depends on effectiveness in dealing with reality, which requires a standing commitment to objectivity in judging one's own motives. That commitment produces honesty and creativity and puts a person in control of their life. Control is the source of self-worth, and self-worth is the ground happiness stands on.
What is the Orientation for Positive Change? It is Mark Hamilton's name for the decision base of a value creator: stop living as a usurper and become a producer of competitive values, and withdraw support from those who, through direct or indirect force, live off the efforts of others. It is the deliberate shift from dependence to capacity.
Why can dependence not produce happiness? Anything forced on a person does not come from a rational, truth-based, value-creating place, and what is forced cannot be good for the one it is forced upon. Dependence lowers the standing of the person made dependent, as the parable of the soup houses shows. Happiness requires the self-worth that only earned capacity can give.
Further Reading
- Psychuous Pleasures: the total celebrating pleasures of a life lived completely between honest producers of value.
- The Value Creator: the orientation that earns a living by producing competitive values and builds a life.
- The Value Destroyer: the orientation that consumes a life by living off the efforts of others.
- The Orientation for Positive Change: the decision base that moves a person from dependence to value creation.
- Self-Esteem: the earned effectiveness in dealing with reality that durable happiness rests on.
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